i don't even know how to start this.. god, i wrote like 10 different sentences before i said fuck it. ok, anyway.. update! I am doing ok. I got into a spat with my mom yesterday and almost ended up leaving the house. I ended up crying for a while... it felt REALLY good bc I havnt been able to really cry yet. I have a little here and there, but i havnt fully let out my emotions. I still don't think i am done. I won't be for a while. There is just so much inside me that is itching to come out, but i don't know how to let it out.


I miss him terribly and want the best for him. It's my hope that everyone understands that although i initiated the breakup, I didn't do it out of anger and hate. I still care car him and always will. It makes me angry that there are people who think ill of me for some reason. To those people: You have no idea what you are even talking about.

Breaking up with him was one of hardest things I have ever had to do. I know it doesnt seem like it bc i seem so put together, but I am pretty much.. i don't know.. i am in limbo. I have put myself on hold until i find my feet and can continue on.


Through all this, I have learned who my true friends are and who never cared in the first place.
My aunt called me the other day.. she had heard from Ash. She wanted to know if i was ok. "i'm ok auntie, I've got my poeple." I truly love my beautiful beautiful people.

Current Mood: calm